By Craig Hysell
After owning a gym since 2010 and continually making a big push over the years to share information we have learned or feel is pertinent, we have a lot of instructional videos on the ol’ YouTube.
One of our videos “30 Epic Weight Vest Workout Movement Standards” has over 15 thousand views at the time of this writing (nothing “amazing” by any stretch of the imagination but certainly one of our more popular videos) for a weighted vest workout book I wrote that not one person to my knowledge has ever purchased.
The video, at the time of this writing, has 51 likes, 14 dislikes and three comments. Not too bad, right?
So why is it so easy to focus on the negative; the 14 dislikes and the one personal attack in the comments that EVEN has a positive tied to it: “Good workouts (positive), but stop skipping leg day bro (negative and even a “maybe negative” at best!)”?
Because we are wired to focus on the negative. Focusing on the negative is a lizard brain function of the amygdala that kept us alive back before Google, Netflix, firearms and cosmopolitan living. It can also kill our passion and spirit slowly and methodically.
See… the point of this post isn’t to victimize myself or make it okay to victimize yourself. The comment made by one of the viewers is actually irrelevant and I could just as easily turn “off” the comments portion of the video if I wanted to.
The point is, hanging yourself out there can be tough, but it’s the tough stuff that makes our life more exciting and more educational and more enriching.
Do not let random comments and criticisms destroy your passion… instead LISTEN to them. They can IMPROVE you, your message and your process!
People say stuff. People might even say mean stuff or do mean stuff or, if we give them the benefit of the doubt, do stuff without thinking things through. They may or may not buy your e-book or agree with your approach or like your chicken legs. They might be having a bad day and just want to take it out on someone or something that cannot physically bite them back. You or your product might not live up to their expectations. The point is, if it bothers you, it’s up to you to deal with it.
You don’t have to get over it. You don’t have to like it. You don’t have to do anything about it.
But what if you had a sense of humor about it? What if you responded to the negative stuff with kind stuff? What if you walked the higher path? You have to be larger than your lizard brain.
This takes mindfulness and practice. It’s not easy sometimes. For instance, in this example (which is really NOT that big of deal AT ALL) my immediate reaction was one of, “WTF”? I worked hard on MY e-book and MY video… but it’s not “MINE” anymore once I put it out in the world. So, before I responded, I took a deep breath. My “WTF” feeling passed quickly and I just laughed at myself. The comment was RIGHT. They are good workouts and I do have chicken legs. Whatevs. Moving on…
Take the hits and remember “the hits” and how you “take them” are up to you. You’ll be better for putting your IT out into the universe… and hopefully you make the world a little bit better too.
If your motives come from empathy, kindness and sharing without the need for anything in return, you’re on the right track. Don’t stop!
(P.S. I wrote a workout e-book nobody wants, doesn’t know exists or doesn’t know how to buy. Who cares? The point is not “boo hoo, feel sorry for me,” the point is: I wrote it during a hurricane and the experience was fantastic! Cough. You can buy the e-book here. Cough. Cough.)