Being spoiled and entitled is not “a millennial thing”, an “internet thing” or a “rich kid’s thing”.
It is a human thing. It’s a trap anyone can fall into. Including you.
“By interpreting freedom as the propagation and immediate gratification of needs, people distort their own nature, for they engender in themselves a multitude of pointless and foolish desires, habits, and incongruous stratagems. Their lives are motivated only by mutual envy, sensuality and ostentation.” -Fyodor Dostoevsky 1821–1881
Veruca Salt epitomizes the self-imprisoning nature of the “I want it all and I want it now” mindset perfectly during this musical number in the original film, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) based on the book, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (1964).
Side note: Dates have been included only as a measurement tool regarding immediate gratification… we can acknowledge that it’s been going on long before millennials came aboard.
Before we throw rocks at others, let’s look at ourselves first.
View immediate gratification in your own life: your refrigerator offers you immediate access to food; how quickly “must” you get places now; the global and infinite access the phone in your hand or pocket gives to you in a mere swipe, app, or click; your willingness or unwillingness to suffer/learn/”pay your dues” for what you want. Do these things apply to you?
Impatience for “things” and success is not only for the young. We can all fall into entitlement’s warm embrace. It is insidious. It seeps into any crack it can. We can all wonder when will it be “our time”. We can all feel like victims because we haven’t “made it” yet or “don’t have it” yet.
The vaccination for this disease is a combination of self-awareness, gratitude, forgiveness and patience. Humor, work ethic and grit don’t hurt either.
Without these virtues, the Veruca Salt Vortex will spin larger and larger until it becomes all consuming and you end up in the incinerator of your own creation with all the other bad nuts and bad eggs.
The catch is, recovery is a process, not a light switch. The Vortex isn’t like the washing machine [semi-immediate gratification tool: it still takes too long and might be responsible for eating our socks]: the spin cycle doesn’t stop automatically when we open the lid.
Rewiring your neuropathy to be less entitled and more gracious; less fixed mindset-oriented and more growth mindset-oriented will take time, practice and discipline… and this is EXTREMELY psychologically challenging for people who are addicted to immediate gratification and wanting everything their own way every time.
What can we do? Adjust what we “NEED”.
1. Put down social media. Social media has become a filtered sphere of highly targeted marketing and life comparison built on snapshots and “spin”. It is a tool when used appropriately and a sham when it becomes your “go to” resource for staying “connected” to friends, family and goings on. It serves little purpose and is designed to dominate your time and the pleasure centers of your brain. (Didn’t like hearing that? Click here… or just try putting social media away for one week and see what happens for yourself.) [Understandably, the amusing hypocritical part to this is that you MAY have stumbled across this on social media!]
2. Stop ingesting the “news”. The news presented to you is a DECISION made by people controlling that “channel” whom you have never met. PLENTY more happened in the world today. Most of it was NOT terrible. If it’s truly bad news and will really have an immediate effect ON you, you will find out about it in a myriad of different ways outside of “the news”.
3. Read or listen to positive books or podcasts. You must learn to think critically and absorb your environment from a place of listening and thought, not absolutism and unchecked desire. Start here if you must. Just start.
4. Exercise. And eat perishable food grown in/by nature. Do not overthink this. Just begin.
5. Journal. You are an intelligent entity, full of thoughts. Write them down. Things will crystallize for you over time if you put in the work. Try a notebook (get in touch with your hand to paper), or Penzu or 750words.com.
6. Be the hero of your own story. Aren’t you tired of being a victim? Aren’t you tired of life constantly happening TO you? Aren’t you tired of it constantly NOT working out and the world constantly being full of assholes? The problem is YOU, my friend. I know that stings, but it’s true. Everything that bothers us is our own fault. Happiness is about progress and progress is about consistently MANAGING your emotions, not being a slave to them. YOU are in charge of YOU.
7. Think of others. You are second (most of the day), others are first (most of the day). Wrap your mind around this and others will ALWAYS be there for YOU first!
Veruca Salt never knew she had a problem. Her mind was warped by BOTH her upbringing and her own inflated sense of what was “hers” in this world.
We cannot control how we are raised, but we can definitely control what becomes of us. Just ask Rock “How To Change The Way You See Yourself”.
Veruca Salts who are not ready to change will never HEAR what this blog post is saying. They will remain doomed to their own creations.
However, for those who are feeling the tug of a deeper and more
meaningful existence, this article might just take you off the spin cycle.
We’re all rooting for you. But you have to do the work. And it will take time. Be patient.